Finding the right guide in business isn’t easy…
Matt Henderson:
Hey everyone, welcome back to The Business Mind Podcast, this is Matt. And today, we’re going to talk about finding the right guide.
All right, welcome back. I’m so glad that you guys are here with me, I really appreciate it. I know that we are 30 some odd years into this crazy quarantine that’s been going on. And honestly, at this point, I can’t even tell you how many days it’s been, 37 ish. I don’t even know. But for those of you who’ve been going crazy, trying to figure out what to do with all your free time or your time that you’ve been at home and not at your place of employment, or whatever it is that you do every day, go back, listen to the podcast. There’s so much to learn and so much to do, and you could take every step of this podcast and do one aspect of it every day and actually have something to show for this time. But I digress, that’s just me. Anyway, thanks for coming back today. And we are going to talk about finding the right guide for your path.
…And I bring it up because recently I actually brought on a mentor myself. Not for me, I’m actually mentoring somebody. And that’s what I wanted to talk about, finding the right mentor, guide, partner, whatever it is for you, that’s going to help you get from where you’re at to where you want to be. And some things to expect and not to expect. Now, I don’t speak because I’ve had a mentor, I’ve had a lot of, I would say, mini mentors along the way. I don’t even know if I would call them mentors, but just people who have given me tons of insight. But it’s definitely something I’ve wanted over the years, but I haven’t found the person or the right person that I would say is taking the path that I want to go down, so it’s been harder for me to link up with somebody. But I have been looking to give back and I have been looking to mentor somebody. And a younger guy actually was interested and was looking for some help, and needed some direction and some advice. And now I have taken him on as a mentor.
So things to look for and expect from a mentor that I’m sure he didn’t know or didn’t know what to expect, and that’s why I’m here today. I don’t know that he is even listening to the podcast yet, but we’ll get him on it eventually. Maybe we’ll even have him on the podcast at one point. But that being said, things to expect from your mentors and what you want to get from the mentor. And one of the most important things is, I think people look for a mentor because they want somebody to just tell them what to do. Just tell me what the right path is, just show me so I don’t have to figure this out. I truly believe that’s where a lot of people get to because they think, “I can’t figure this whole thing out on my own. I found this other person that seems to have gotten to where I want to go, so therefore, let me just ask them based on where I’m at, and where they are, ‘How do I get from where I am to where you are and do it as fast as possible?'”
And I think that’s what a lot of people go into a mentorship thinking that it is. And that’s not actually what it is. If I was to do that, I’m doing you, I’m doing anyone a disservice, as is any mentor. If I just tell you exactly what to do, I’m going to do you a complete disservice because you’re not going to understand what it takes to get from Point A to Point B to Point C, or you’re just not going to understand it. And then essentially all I’m doing is, I’m just giving you fish to eat, I’m not actually teaching you how to catch fish. I’m not teaching you how to fish so that you can do it on your own, even if I wasn’t around to help. And that’s a huge distinction that I believe a lot of people don’t necessarily understand about their mentors, is that they’re not there to just give you the answers, they’re there to help you down a path. And sure, we’re definitely here to make sure that you don’t necessarily stumble on every single speed bump, but likewise, you do need to learn things for yourself.
And thankfully, the gentleman I’m mentoring, he fully understands that, he’s fully embracing that, and just taking it in. And that’s because I didn’t choose someone to mentor that I felt wouldn’t listen to directions, that wouldn’t understand what the process would be. And I would say I vetted the
person for about two months plus before I decided that I would even mentor him. Not because I don’t think that he’s a nice guy or something, he’s a great guy. But I wanted to see what his business acumen was. What is his drive? What are his desires? What is he willing to do in order to get to where he wants to go? And that’s something to think about for yourselves. What are you willing to do? If you want a mentor, then what exactly are you willing to do to accomplish your goals? Me, I’m willing to do anything
that it takes in order to accomplish my goals, anything that it takes.
If it’s excessive amounts of time, if it’s giving up holidays, if it’s skipping birthdays, whatever it is, I’d be there. If it’s laying money out of my pocket, because I know that at the end I’ll get it back, then that’s what I’ll do. But nothing comes with a guarantee, nothing’s set in stone, and nobody’s going to be able to just, say, hand you a piece of paper saying, “Here’s the 10 steps and once you just run through these real quick, over the next week or two, you’re going to be where you want to be.” That’s not a mentor and it’s not somebody that you are going to find. And if you did find somebody like that, I’m not sure you even want them because what are they actually teaching you? How are they helping you grow? Is your business going to be bigger? Are you going to be a bigger person? Are you going to know more at the end of the day than you do now, if that’s the path you take, if someone just tells you what to do at every step? Definitely not, definitely not.
So, a mentor, they’re someone you’re going to learn from, they’re somebody you can learn from. All right. That’s one aspect of somebody you want to look for. They’re somebody who is doing what you would like to do or has accomplished goals that you would like to accomplish. It doesn’t have to be that this person does the exact job that I want, but maybe they do one aspect of things that you want to add into your life. And that’s something that they can teach you and that you could walk away from after working with them. They’re not somebody who’s going to give you the path on a piece of paper. They’re not going to sugarcoat things for you, they’re not going to tell you, “Oh yeah, you’re doing a great job,” when really you need to be putting in two to three times the effort.
So these are things to think about. If you think linking up with a mentor is going to make your life easier, I don’t think that’s going to be the case. You may have more difficulties in the sense that you have more to do. They’re going to give you homework, they’re going to show you, “Hey, this is where you’re wasting your time.” Or, “This is where you’re putting in much of your time. You’re putting a lot of effort into something that’s not giving you a return.” These are the things that a mentor’s going to help you
with. And it would’ve been helpful for me to not necessarily waste so much of my time learning the different things that I did. But because I went the route that I took to get to where I am, I feel that I learned so much I was able to mentor in a shorter amount of time.
I was able to offer my services, my knowledge, my mistakes, I was able to offer those to somebody else, and then be able to show them, “Hey, listen, this is something you can do and here’s how I know because I already made the mistakes.” So just some ideas about a mentor, or your guide, your shaman, whatever you want them to be for you. But have your expectations set correctly. Don’t think that this person is there to hand you everything on a silver platter. If anything, if you want a mentor, then what I would do is start to see what you could do in order to help your mentor. Not just ask them for help and ask them to mentor you, but how can you give to them and provide a service, or help them in some way, with something they’re doing, so they want to help you. And I think that’s a huge, really easy way to find the right person and to show them that you are the right person that needs to be mentored.
So something to think about, I would definitely consider doing it that way. Any mentor who sees that somebody’s willing to help them out with their things, they’re going to want to mentor you if they see the amount of effort you want to put in and how much you’re willing to offer in order to help them out on their path. So I hope that helps for today. I hope that keeps your wheels churning and helps you figure out exactly where you want to go and where you’re headed, and takes you down the right path for this week. I’m going to stop in again later on this week when I have some more time and just…