A new kind of fear

Matt Henderson:

Welcome back everyone. Matt, from the Business Mind Podcast. And I am going to talk to you today about a new kind of fear I think I discovered.

Matt Henderson:

How’s it going everybody? So Matt from Business Mind Podcast. Really happy to have you guys here today. I appreciate you coming in and listening, because today I want to talk about a new type of fear that at least I’ve experienced. And I haven’t been able to even know what to call it up until now. I’m calling it fear, probably because of lack of a better term. And in the past, I talked about being uncomfortable with your work, and being uncomfortable as you grow in business. And maybe that’s part of it. But I actually think that there’s these ties in both fear and that uncomfortableness that I think a lot of business owners experience. And I know I do all the time, unfortunately. …And this morning it kind of hit me to a point that I had never really experienced before. And it was interesting. It was interesting. I never really thought about it. I’ve just felt the… I’ve just had the feeling. So let me explain. Have you ever had that feeling, it’s almost like uncertainty. You don’t know what’s going to happen next and it makes you nervous, just… I remember when I was a kid, I actually went to a basketball foul shooting contest. For those of you who don’t play basketball or don’t know anything about basketball, it’s a free throw contest. So you go and you literally just shoot from the free throw line, and you see how many you make and then you move on to next levels. I was actually just there because my sister was in the competition. I was maybe, I think, eight years old. And I was just there to watch my sister compete in the little local foul shooting competition.

And when I was there, they… I guess the age group, I think it started at 10. You had to be in order to compete, which is why I obviously wasn’t competing, because I was only eight. And I guess only one kid had signed up for the 10 year to 12 years of age group or whatever it was, 10 to 15. Who knows. And only one kid had signed up because it was a local little tournament thing. And they actually went on the PA system and said, “If anyone here would like to participate in that group… that age range and you fall in the age range, or even taking people who are younger, if they would like to compete,” as opposed to just giving this one kid who signed up the win, they figured, “Let’s at least make him shoot for it.”

So my dad looked at me and said, “Why don’t you go do it?” And I thought, “Oh God. I’m not sure.” And that was the first time I could remember having that feeling. And it was this weird feeling of uncertainty and nervousness, and not knowing what to do and what happens next. But you know what I did that day, was I stood up and I walked down and I said, “I’ll do it.” And I went and competed in the foul shooting contest. Not everybody would do that. And at the age of eight, I was and still probably am, such a self conscious little kid. I was really shy. I’m not too dissimilar now. I’m still shy, self conscious. Who’s not? But I felt like I was… I feel like I was a little more self conscious than most. I don’t know. Probably not, but I still think I probably was.

But anyway, I walked down and I said, “I’ll do it.” And it was the first time I could remember my life of stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing something that I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. And I wasn’t sure if I would get laughed at or made fun of, or… I was an eight year old kid going up against a kid who was older than me. And he was eight… He was, I think, 10 years old. And funny enough, he lived only a few blocks for me and our… We knew each other. We went to the same grammar school actually. He was a couple… I think he was actually only one or two grades ahead of me. Maybe only one grade ahead. Doesn’t matter. Anyway, I went down and I competed though. And that was the first time I remember that awkward feeling. I just felt weird.

And I wo… And all I can say is that, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen and I was really, really nervous. And I went and I competed and I did it. And who cares what the outcome would be? I mean, who cares? The outcome was, I won, as an eight year old. I think we both initially made 8 out of 10 free throws. And then we had to go into a second round and I made 9 out of 10 and he made seven. So something like that. And I wound up winning. How unbelievable is that? And how fortunate that I stood up that day and just did it. And that was the first time I could remember having that feeling. It was in the pit of my stomach. I thought, “Oh my gosh. If this were any worse, I’d probably get sick. I’d probably throw up right there on the spot.”

And this morning, and a few times over my entrepreneurial career, I’ve had that same feeling. And I was never able to relate it back to exactly what it was. I was never able to pinpoint, “Gosh, what’s going on? What is this feeling?” And today, I kind of started to put it together and it was a feeling of fear, but I think it’s based on uncertainty and uncomfortableness. And that’s when I realized that, that feeling was something I actually needed to harness. And for the first time, I consciously made a decision to think about what it was that was throwing me off about all this and what was bothering me about that feeling, and harness it. Bring it in and attack whatever it is that’s giving me that feeling, because you know what? Had I not attacked it that day that I entered that contest as an eight year old, I never would’ve had the confidence to move forward in entering more competitions and being on a basketball team.

And I did all of those things. I wound up winning multiple free throw competitions. I got money for some of them. I got a little mini scholarship for one of them. I mean, it was awesome. I mean, had I not done it that first day, though, if I hadn’t pushed through that weird, uncomfortable, uncertain feeling, I never would’ve gotten any of those little wins as a kid and in business. Today, I took it. I harnessed it. I went in and I accomplished more things in an uncertain place than I have in a long time. And if you’re wondering, “What the heck is he talking about?” I was building up some stuff in a new type of funnel. I’d never tried to do any of it before. And I was doing some interesting out of the box kind of stuff. And I was able to accomplish it all. And I’m… On top of that. I finished about 50 other things I’d never thought I would get done today, because I just took in that uncomfortable feeling, harnessed it and kept pushing forward.

Now, I’ll be honest, that feeling didn’t really go away as the day went on until I had my first win. And then it subsided a little bit. And then it came back a little bit as I started pushing into more uncharted territory. But it didn’t matter, because now I’ve figured out what that thing is that used to bother me. And it used to be some… That feeling used to be something that stopped me in my tracks. I wouldn’t go further. I would just stop and say, “Oh, forget it. I don’t know what this is. And if something’s making me feel like this, it just can’t be good.” And so I just used to skip it and stop doing what I’m doing and say, “All right. Well, if you feel that awkward about things, maybe you shouldn’t be doing this.” And I would just stop doing them, but you know what? It’s… Those days are all over now. I figured out that that is just a predecessor to what the great things that are about to come right behind me.

And that’s what I figured out today. And that’s why I wanted to share it with you guys, because that moment of uncomfortableness, that feeling of nervousness and uncertainty, and you just… It almost crawls up and it… For me, it almost was making the hair stand up on the back of my neck, because it was… I couldn’t take it. And as soon as I made the conscious decision that, “You know what? I’m going to own this. I’m going to own it. Whatever’s uncomfortable. Whatever’s making me feel this way. That’s exactly what I need to do right now.” Soon as I did that, soon as I consciously made that decision and pushed forward, everything changed from my day. And I would imagine if I can keep… continue to harness that same energy and power and everything else, then that will happen for me throughout the rest of my life and definitely in business.

So take that little piece of information today and see if it applies to you guys. I hope it applies to some of you. And honestly, I hope none of you feel that way, like the way I feel very often when I get into uncomfortable situations and things I don’t know about. But if you do, it’s okay, because it happens to all of us just like me. And if you harness it and you push through that moment, then what comes out on the other side is just amazing. It’s outstanding. So that’s all I got for you guys today. I hope it helps somebody out there and that you can learn from my strange things that happened to me in life. But if that can help somebody out there, then I’ll be really excited. So I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast. It was a little tough for me to try and explain, but I hope that you guys got it, and it helps you out.

All right. Matt from Business Mind Podcast. If you guys have any questions or need any assistance, definitely reach out to me, [email protected]. And if you are enjoying the podcast, please take a screenshot, post it up to your Instagram. Tell people about the podcast. Put it on your Facebook, Twitter, TikTok. Whatever you do, place it around, tell people about it. And I would really appreciate it if you could go onto iTunes, if you’re listening there, and leave me or review, because it goes a long way. All right, everyone. I hope you guys have an amazing night and I will talk to you guys again tomorrow.

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